Do Twins Typically Get Along? Influencing Factors & 5 Tips

Being a parent of twins means facing double the tasks such as changing diapers, feeding, and getting car seats, along with any other responsibilities that come with having newborns. However, have you taken into account the unique bond that your twins will form?

Will there be double the fighting and family feuds? Personality and other factors will affect the relationships your twins may or may not build. 

Do twins usually get along? Yes, twins do generally get along. Like most siblings, they will have their little feuds and differences, but they share a bond that cannot be broken for the most part. Factors that affect twins’ relationships include gender, home life, time spent together, and individual personalities.

Twins share a unique bond like no other. They have shared a womb and every living minute since day one. Some twins can sense the emotions of the other twin, and some even have their own language. 

Relationship of Twins – 6 Influencing Factors

Twins share a unique relationship. Like non-twin siblings, several factors go into how their relationship will be. Some twins are independent and want their own space, whereas some are co-dependent on their twin.

Identical twins share many of the same personality traits, which could lead to them clashing since they are so much alike.

1. Identical or Fraternal

From studies conducted on identical and fraternal twins, it seems that identical twins share a closer bond than fraternal twins.

Identical twins result from one fertilized egg split into two babies with the same DNA, making them as close as two people can be. Fraternal twins result from fertilizing two eggs, making them no different than siblings born at other times.

2. Personality of Each Twin

A twin’s personality can affect their relationship with the other twin. One common personality trait of twins is that they tend to be dependent on others. They do not like being alone and are often not independent individuals.

A dependent personality in a twin can make them more likely to get along with the other twin because they crave to be close to someone; they will not do well being alone.

At the same time, some twins are the complete opposite and want to be left alone. This could be from always having their twin right there, their parents treating them as one, and never feeling like their own person.

As a twin gets older, they may want to step out into their own shell and be their own person without their twin always right there.

Identical twins seem to have closer personality types and shared interests compared to fraternal twins, who can have completely different personality types and interests. 

3. Gender

Twins of the same gender seem to have more conflict and rivalry than twins of the opposite sex. Twins that share the same gender also have lower dependency levels than twins of different genders. 

4. Home Life

The home life of twins can affect their relationship. If there is trouble in the household, twins can band together to get through trauma, always having one another get through challenging situations.

If parents work a lot, the twins could feel neglected, causing them to depend more on each other than the parents. Being a twin means always having a built-in best friend.

On the other hand, twins raised in a healthy household will see healthy family relationships modeled, which encourages them to build healthy relationships. 

5. Preferential Treatment

Being a twin means that your sibling has been with you since day 1. The twin never had their parents all to themselves like those of a non-twin child.

Twins could act out or even resent the other twin, depending on how the parents are treating the twins. If one twin feels like the other is getting more attention or special treatment, this may cause them to blame the other twin.

Even though you have twins, making them feel like individuals is essential as is making equal time for each twin. 

6. Time Spent Together

Twins spend a great deal of time together. They share a womb for 9 months, and then once they are born, parents are more likely to have them do everything together.

Many parents will dress them alike, ensure they are in the same classes at school, and even put them into the same activities. This means that the twins are always together.

This is the reason so many twins have close relationships even as they grow into adulthood, but this can also lead to feuds between the twins. Just like non-twin siblings, always being around each other can lead to being easily annoyed by the other.

During childhood and even teenage years, twins might grow tired of always having the other around. This could lead to the twins fighting more and just wanting to have their own life without the other twin around. 

Identical twin sisters facing each other looking angry.

Healthy Family Relationships

Whether a person has twins or singletons, it is important to model good relationships from the beginning to show the children how to treat others.

As parents, it is our job to teach our children the skills needed to succeed in life, and healthy relationships are one of those skills.

Twins raised in a family that models healthy relationships are more likely to develop healthy relationships in the future.

Common Problems Twins Face in Their Relationship

Twins generally have a close relationship with each other, but problems can arise just like with any other relationship.

During the childhood years, twins may go through a stage where it seems all they do is fight. This could be from them always being around each other and needing a break.

A twin might despise the other twin because they are constantly being compared to each other. As the twins get older, if one twin gets a different set of friends or enters into a relationship, the other twin can feel left out. 

How To Help Your Twins Get Along

Problems can arise with any siblings, and as parents, we can do a few things to help.

From day one, twins are together all the time. They know they will always have their twin, and their bond is inseparable, so it is not always necessary to make the twins do everything together.

Some twins may need one-on-one time with the parent, and others may benefit from being placed in an activity without the other twin to establish their own image and life outside of being a twin.

Below are some tips that parents of twins can follow to help their children’s relationship:

  • One-on-one time. Bring the twins separately to a movie so they feel that the attention is on just them. This will prevent resentment between the twins, therefore, helping their relationship with one another.
  • Encourage activities together to help them build their relationship, but do not force it. If they want to play different sports or activities, let them be their own person.
  • Do not only point out how similar the twins are, and make sure you also speak about how they are different.
  • Let them choose if they want to dress a like or differently.
  • Model healthy relationships in the family. 

Related Questions:

How Does Being a Twin Affect Your Personality?

Being a twin can affect one’s personality. Some twins are very dependent on relationships with their twin or even other people, and they are not independent at all.

Conversely, some twins are very independent since they have always had someone there. Identical twins share a lot of the same personality traits since they share the same DNA. 

Is One Twin Always Dominant?

Studies have shown that one twin is usually more dominant than the other. In boy-girl twin pairs, the girl seems to be more dominant in most areas.

There are also studies that show that the firstborn twin seems to be more on the dominant side, whereas the secondborn tends to be submissive. 

Conclusion 

Whether you have twins or singletons, sibling relationships can be hard. Of course, they love each other and will always have a special bond, but sometimes since twins are so much alike, it can cause a little bit of sibling rivalry.

As parents, the only thing we can do is to ensure we are teaching our children how to have healthy relationships and make sure we are treating each twin like their own person outside of being a twin.