Toddlers are storms of emotion, cuteness, and challenge, and they display new behaviors and skills daily. Some toddler behaviors simply cannot be explained, and adults chalk it up to children being young and silly.
However, some behaviors may be embarrassing or awkward for parents. An uncomfortable yet prevalent toddler behavior is humping.
The majority of parents do not openly discuss this behavior due to feeling uncomfortable or its seemingly “taboo” nature.
Why do toddlers hump? Humping and genital touching can occur for numerous reasons and at various ages/stages. It is typically a “self-soothing” behavior but in some cases may evolve into attention-seeking or stress-relieving behavior. Toddlers may also hump simply because it feels good or because they are bored.
Humping and genital touching, pulling, or rubbing seems inappropriate and mortifying. Rest assured this behavior is common and even normal at some developmental stages.
This article aims to explain these behaviors and take the discomfort out of the equation.
Let’s explore the reasons for the behavior and how to help your toddler transition away from undesired behaviors.
4 Reasons Why Toddlers Hump
Despite your embarrassment, this behavior is normal, and you are not alone. Reasons for humping behavior vary among children. Humping behavior can present for a single reason or a combination of reasons.
Four reasons for toddler humping include self-soothing, enjoyment, stress relief, and exposure to sexual images/abuse.
1. Self-Soothing Behavior
If you notice humping behaviors occurring at rest times, such as naps and bedtime, your child is most likely using humping as a form of self-soothing.
Often in times of anxiety or exhaustion, humping is used in a rhythmic motion to help soothe and calm the body.
If you are noticing a behavior pattern during times of exhaustion or anxiety, try replacing the behavior with a more desirable one. Address and solve the issue that is causing your child to self-soothe.
If your child is humping a favorite stuffed animal or object when tired, simply removing the object could stop the behavior. Humping as a form of self-soothing usually stops on its own as a child matures.
2. To Relieve Stress
Toddlers react to stress and have several stress triggers, including transition, life changes, a new addition to the family, and social gatherings. Toddlers, like adults, need to relieve stress.
Humping, genital touching, or genital pulling may be used as a form of stress relief. These behaviors may be combined into a more complex form of self-soothing stress relief.
If you notice a pattern in the behavior or your child is using humping in moments of stress, try distracting them or replacing the behavior with a more desirable activity.
Giving your child the tools to self-soothe in times of high stress and anxiety will promote positive mental health as they grow and develop.
3. They Enjoy the Sensation
Children discover that humping feels good, and they often continue to do it. Childhood sexual exploration peaks at age 5.
Children may be humping merely because it offers satisfaction and enjoyment. It is only sexual if you make it sexual.
Teaching your child that touching their body should be done in private, like going to the bathroom, can help relieve some embarrassment from the behavior happening in public.
With your help and time, children can learn discretion and develop appropriate behavior patterns.
4. Exposed to Inappropriate Images or Sexual Abuse
This reason for humping is uncommon; however, it needs to be addressed. If you notice your toddler humping or touching other children, pets, or people inappropriately and/or secretly, talk to your child.
It is possible that your child is imitating a behavior he or she witnessed or was forced to take part in. If you feel this may be the case, seek professional help for your child right away.
When To Be Concerned With Toddler Humping
Toddler humping is a prevalent and normal childhood behavior. Despite being a common behavior, there are times when you should be concerned.
1. It Becomes an Obsession
If your child spends a lot of time and energy on humping and overly sexualized behavior, it can become concerning. If the behavior begins to interfere with friendships, school, and relationships, it is an obsession.
It is important to intervene calmly and consistently, addressing the behavior from a standpoint of privacy and appropriateness.
2. It Involves Another Person
If your child’s behavior involves another person, whether a sibling, peer, or adult, it is a red flag.
If the behavior becomes coercive or repetitive despite repercussions, it could be a sign that your child may have a more serious problem and may require professional intervention.
3. Other Signs of ADHD or Autism Are Present
Three key areas of childhood autism and ADHD include quality of reciprocal behaviors, communication/language, and repetitive, limited, or unfocused interests and behaviors.
If you notice a developmental delay in any of these key areas in addition to your child’s humping behavior, talk to your primary care physician and seek support for your child.
To view a more comprehensive list of signs and inventions of autism, read this.
4. Displays Other Signs of Sexual Abuse
If you notice your child having detailed age-inappropriate sexual knowledge, attempting to touch others’ private areas, or is showing signs of sexual activity, talk to your child, and gather information on where your child learned the information.
Most children who have been victims of sexual abuse will have extreme behavior changes including depression, hesitancy to undress, avoidance of touch, and hyper-vigilance.
It is uncommon for victims of sexual abuse to engage in humping behavior, but it is possible. You can view a detailed list comparing childhood sexual exploration with childhood sexual abuse here.
How To Handle the Situation
If the humping behavior becomes concerning, the best course of action is to talk to your primary care physician and seek support through professional interventions and techniques.
Teach your child appropriate behavior, and talk about safe touch. It is important not to shame your child and approach your child calmly, compassionately, and firmly. Focus on teaching your child about privacy and respecting boundaries.
Related Questions:
Why Do Toddlers Bite Themselves?
Biting behaviors generally reflect normal development. Children commonly bite others or themselves out of frustration, anger, and the inability to express their emotions.
Why Do Toddlers Throw Things?
Toddlers love to explore cause and effect, and generally, between 18 and 48 months children develop fine motor skills to explore this new skill of throwing.
Unless your child is throwing out of anger or in an attempt to harm others, allow them to experiment with gravity.
Conclusion
Toddler behavior can be baffling and sometimes downright embarrassing. Rest assured that experimenting with behaviors and skills is a normal part of childhood development.
If you are concerned about your child’s behavior, reach out to your primary health care provider, and seek professional guidance and intervention.
Mom of three (including identical twin boys), wife, and owner of Parents Wonder. This is my place to share my journey as a mother and the helpful insights I learn along the way.